One Choice That Creates A Focus In Your Day

morning pages stream of consciousness writing to do lists rituals

Are you in control of your day or do you ever find your day gets away from you and yougo to bed exhausted and wondering why your To Do list never gets done?

Or maybe your day gets off to a great start but by the afternoon you find it harder to do the things that you were so excited about doing the night before. At times you may feel confused about the best way to schedule your day in the first place.

There’s one thing you might be doing and by changing it, you can change your whole day.

If you check social media or your emails first thing in the morning or look after other people first in some way, it can result in decision fatigue and you’ll also be starting your day filled with other peoples thoughts, feelings, emotions and agendas.

Is there a better way to start your day?

Some people will suggest you start it the night before by writing down a To Do list. Unless your To Do list is leading you to something bigger that really lights you up, then you could be just using each check mark on it to give yourself a false sense of accomplishment each day. Yikes! Maybe To Do lists need a little help.

morning pages stream of consciousness writing to do lists rituals

Would you be willing to start each day with a couple of expansive questions and then taking 5 minutes to write down your answers to see how much change that can create instead?

Should you journal?

I know many people who use ‘stream of consciousness’ writing or ‘Morning Pages’ or ‘journaling’ but this question and answer method can be more powerful than any of that.

You are directing your consciousness and your thoughts and your awareness with a question. If you just start writing with no goal in mind, your brain could come up with endless nonsense that really doesn’t change the course of your day at all.

 

There are some questions you can use to get focused on your visions and desires as a different way to start your day. When answering these questions (or some of your own), try to stay out of any judgement about whether or not they are possible.

 

Would you be a little tiny bit willing to believe that you are beginning to write new things into your reality through the power of words made solid on paper? Would you be willing to try it from a place of fun and childlike wonder and see how your day goes?

Here are some questions to get you started:

What experiences would really make me smile today?
What would make me feel healthy today?
What activities could allow me to see more beauty in my life today?

After you have written down your answers, even just for five minutes, allow those to guide your actions. So if you have a To Do list, are there actions on there that are a total mismatch to what you wrote down that you desired to see in your life? Be willing to let them go and watch your day unfold with energy and focus and from your true desires.

Why does this work?

There are a few reasons. Writing things down makes them more real. It helps us to see the possibility better when it is written down instead of typing it onto a computer in ‘virtual’ world. Also when we add the wisdom of our body into our day, it changes things. So as our hands write the words and our eyes see them, it creates a mind body connection that makes it all the more real.  It also gives our mind something to focus on and to look for during the day so it is one way to begin to write your visions into your reality.  I’ll share more in another post.

 

Are You Rewriting History Using Social Media?

rewriting history

We are all reporters now

At this point in time we may be rewriting history by spreading nonsense as fact. The more it spreads, the more it will be seen as the truth. What are you creating with your contributions?

 social media sharing contributor

 

We are unpaid reporters who see the world in our own unique way. It’s awesome that we can write or share whatever we are most passionate about. Often a headline will grab our attention and we’ll share the story or comment on it, without even reading it. It’s quick and easy; a stress reliever and a fun way to socialize on social media. Could it also have unforeseen consequences?

 

It can be difficult in these social media obsessed times to step away from the habit of sharing drama and nonsense in return for likes, shares, comments and hearts.  

 

Is our ego leading us as we seek validation and attention when we share emotionally charged but untrue stories as factual?  It’s a quick pick me up when we are feeling lonely or bored or sad.  And it can be addicting.

 

It doesn’t matter if it’s not true, it COULD BE true!

 

Are you sharing untrue stories because you agree with the message in the story? Then share a fable, not an article that claims to be the truth. Sharing sensationalized stories can also lead to vilifying the innocent or creating fear and making it look like bad things in the world are much more common than they really are.  Is this what you want to create now and into your future or rewrite into history?

Social Media sharing zen dude

 

Es Tu, Huffington Post?

When the Huffington Post began the practice of allowing anyone to post to their blog section early this year with no need for editorial approval, the risks of sharing an article containing inaccurate information increased.  Sharing unread articles on social media that appear to be coming from legitimate sources can cause untruth to spread quickly as it takes just a second to click ‘share’ on an article with a tantalizing headline. 

 

Thankfully applications to the ‘Contributor Platform’ on Huffington Post closed in October of 2016.  Those who got in before its closure are free to post whatever they want without anyone checking their articles first so be aware of this. For those who joined this platform, they simply upload their article and within minutes can add one of those ‘As Seen On Huffington Post’ badges to their website as their article appears automatically.

 

While this is ego gratification at its best, what is the true cost? And how much credibility do the ‘real’ writers and reporters on Huffington Post now lose when this platform has the potential to be abused by those who previously couldn’t get their articles published?

 

How can we create to positive change?

 

On the flip side, as of November 2016, Google and Facebook have committed to banning fake news websites from accessing their ad services. Perhaps this change will cause the fake news to appear less often so that it is harder to share. But we still need to take each article that we see online with a grain of salt. Each of us has a responsibility to the history and the future we are creating with each tap of the keyboard.

 

What are some steps you can take to be a valued contributor?

 

  • If you’re looking for a way to contribute your unique voice on social media, then be willing to spend the time to read an article instead of just reading the headline. You’ll learn more and get a better handle on whether or the not story is legitimate and worth sharing. And tell people why you are sharing it too along with your unique views on the story.

 

  • Take a second and see if others are reporting the story as true or false. Snopes.com is one place to check. But don’t rely on just one source. Have a peek around the Internet.

 

  • Do a gut check. Before sharing, ask yourself a couple of questions. Does this story feel true? What am I creating more of in the world by sharing it? Is that what I really want to create?

 

  • And finally be willing to see what your online contributions are bringing to the world. Are you sharing to feel better about yourself? If so, would you be willing to feel better by infusing your life with people who enjoy your company and with things that make you smile, laugh and expand your awareness? And would you be willing to see yourself as amazing already?

If we all created and shared stories from that space, what do you think we could collectively create in the world? Wanna find out?

Join me on Instagram,for an infusion of high vibes for your #MindBodyBiz.

Are You A Giver? How Giving Can Be Used For Creation.

Heart Giving

I was listening to the radio today and the host said that if he won $100,000 he would give most of it away because some people didn’t even have enough money to turn on the heat. He talked about giving to others who had less than he did. That led to an awkward moment when his co-host said he would probably buy a Corvette with the money.

 

What would you do with the money? And what could you create in the world with what you already have?

 

Since today is Thanksgiving in the USA and many of my friends are giving thanks, it made me reflect on the joys of giving and whether or not giving something of mine to someone else was the best way to express gratitude and create change.  I realized that I didn’t need to win a large sum of money to give something valuable right now. And I realized that I did not have to leave myself short or overworked or overwhelmed to give something now.

If I win money (to use the example that spurred these thoughts) and I give it to someone else who has less than I do, then I am not really creating MORE with the money, I am just transferring it from one person to another. I do have heat, so while I am sure the person who could now turn on their heat too would appreciate it, I realized there was so much more that could be accomplished with what I’d like to call ‘generative giving’.

 

Does giving money to someone create more in the world or does it just move the money from one place to another? What would create more?

 

I spent a bit of time researching the answer because I wondered if there were places creating big changes that could benefit from my giving and expand and exponentialize it instead of just allowing money to go from one set of hands to another with no real or lasting change being created.

 

For example  in London England they are using the body heat that is trapped in subways to heat 500 homes as part of the CELSIUS Project.  Imagine how much change we could create with many people donating small amounts of money to companies that were developing the technologies needed to harvest free sources of heat and electricity?

I also found a project on Kickstarter called “Rocket Mass Stoves” that shows you how to make your own stove for $3 and then heat your home for 1/10th the price of natural gas and 1/10th the CO2 emissions. Donations began at $1 and over $100,000 was raised so that professional DVDs could be created to share this information more easily with more people.

 

Can you see how we can use a little bit of money to help create something that makes life better and healthier or more affordable for everyone?

 

What if you do not have a dollar to help fund a campaign? Do you know what else grows exponentially with little effort and time? Kindness. With every word we speak and with every action we take and every bit of information we post online we have the opportunity to spread more kindness in the world. We also can take away some kindness by adding to the fear, the anger or the judgement that is so easily given. In giving your opinion, are you adding kindness or taking away from the kindness?

 

What are you giving to the world today?  Would you be willing to tune into what you are creating and to see the butterfly effect of your thoughts, words, actions and your giving?

It doesn’t take much, and it doesn’t even take money, but it does take some awareness to make a new choice and to give in a new way. Will you choose it today?

Do Your Words Create Your World?

Anything is possible

Have you ever looked up the definition of the words you use repeatedly? This year I began studying the etymology (aka origin) of some of my favourite words. The meaning of words can change over time so I think it’s important to really understand how the word was originally used so you can be aware of the energy you are creating when you speak the word.

The best example that I have is the word PASSION. It’s been my favourite word for years, as I love people who are passionate about their lives.  It makes me smile when the passion shines through their face and in their voice and in the gifts they share with the world.  Recently someone commented about the ‘passion-burnout’ cycle and how they’ve removed the word from their vocabulary. Out of curiousity, I looked it up.

 

Here are the original meanings as quoted from EtymologyOnline.com:   late 12c., “sufferings of Christ on the Cross,” from Old French passion “Christ’s passion, physical suffering” (10c.), from Late Latin passionem (nominative passio) “suffering, enduring,” from past participle stem of Latin pati “to suffer, endure,” possibly from PIE root *pe(i)- “to hurt” (cognates: Sanskrit pijati “reviles, scorns,” Greek pema “suffering, misery, woe,” Old English feond “enemy, devil,” Gothic faian “to blame”).

Sense extended to sufferings of martyrs, and suffering generally, by early 13c.; meaning “strong emotion, desire” is attested from late 14c., from Late Latin use of passio to render Greek pathos. Replaced Old English þolung (used in glosses to render Latin passio), literally “suffering,” from þolian (v.) “to endure.”

 

WHOA!! And I have been saying how passionate I am about some things and how much I love seeing passion in others. Words have power. Our voice, our breath, our intention adds even more power to them. After learning about the original meaning, I’ve been choosing new words for the things I love!

One way to choose language that supports you and others is to be conscious of what you say after the words I AM. Those words can shape who you are and who you are becoming.  Choose language that is expansive and without limits and full of confidence and see what changes in your life.

Other words to be cautious of include: try, should, and want.

Instead of trying, you can choose to do something or to not do it and if you choose it, commit to it and demand it of yourself.

The word should can make us feel guilty about something we aren’t doing or are doing. Again, use words that show you have a real choice. Or focus on the outcome to help you choose. Instead of saying “I should put away the laundry” you can say to yourself “I love it when all my clothes are clean and put away neatly because my room feels uncluttered and tidy.” The way you feel when it is done can be used for encouragement until what you ‘should’ do is your new normal.

The word want surprised me too when I learned of it’s etymology. It used to mean lack. So if you are wanting something, it means you are lacking it. That wanting will continue when you use language that contains the energy of lack.

What words do you use often in your life that may be limiting you? Pay attention to your words and create something new and magical in your life. Would you like to choose that?

 

5 Ways To Create More Possibilities In Your Life

Believe Stone

These five tips are meant to guide you towards releasing stress and to gain trust that things will be okay.

1.  Instead of labeling things around you as good or bad, be open to what is going on around you and to seeing the magic in them.  If you see things as ‘interesting’ instead of good or bad you will start to see more synchronicity and flow in your life.

 

2.  See the world as if everything is new to you.  Be full of wonder and curiousity.  Try not to have conclusions about how things work and you will perceive new things and see them in a new way too.

 

3.  If something isn’t going your way, take a few breaths and stay out of the twisted thinking that things never work out for you or that life is hard.  These are judgements you’ve made.  [Tweet “What if you could begin to change things by not judging them?”]  Take a step back ask yourself “What is right about this that I’m not seeing?”

 

4. Don’t wait for life to be perfect before you enjoy it.  If you keep putting off your happiness until ‘something’ else happens, you’ll always be waiting.  Commit to what you want now instead.  And trust that you are being helped and that life is happening for you, not to you.

 

5. As Bobby McFerrin put it, and as Pharrell Williams has echoed, Don’t worry, Be happy. Worry, like guilt, just makes us feel really icky. How often does that worse case scenario actually happen? This is called a What If ‘down’ thinking because you are assuming the worst will happen and you play it out in your head until the stress is unbearable. Why not try a What If ‘up’?  What if things turn out even better than you expect?  What is the BEST case scenario? Try asking those kinds of questions and feel the difference it can make in your life today.

Want To Play A Better Game?

 

I wanted to share something with you tonight because I found myself feeling a little helpless, and it’s not a feeling that I enjoy. I know I can make a different choice. I did make a different choice and that choice included sharing a new game with you.

 

 

Sometimes it’s a game that we play without even thinking.  Sometimes it is almost second nature because we do it so often.  Have you ever played it? It’s called the Blame Game. It is a game we play when we say things to ourselves or others like:

  • I would have been on time except the phone rang as I was rushing out the door and then I hit every red light on the way here and the car in front of me was going wayyy below the speed limit and there was too much traffic for me to pass.

 

  • I wouldn’t have eaten that second piece of carrot cake tonight but someone put an empty bottle of salad dressing in the fridge so I didn’t make that big salad to go with supper and I was still hungry.

 

  • I would have finished my taxes on time but  the phone was always busy when I called my bookkeeper/accountant and someone put my receipts in the wrong drawer.

 

 

I understand how easy it is to do. And no I didn’t eat a second piece of carrot cake because my dog grabbed the container off the counter and ate it. It’s obviously the dog’s fault, I am not to blame for leaving it out!!  😉

The problem with this game is that it takes away our power. It makes us feel helpless and like things are out of our control. We give our power away to the ringing phone, the red lights, other people, and yes the dog too.

How would you like to play a new game? It might be less easy than the Blame Game at first but when we start to see that the next time we can make different choices, it helps us to see that we really do have all the control after all.

 

How can you take control today? How about in the above situations, do you see a new game that can be played? Maybe next time you’ll choose to let the phone ring and check the message (if one is left) once you arrive at your destination. Or maybe you’ll choose to leave 10 minutes early so that some extra traffic or a slow driver aren’t seen as issues. And even when things do crop up, we always have the choice to allow it to make us feel or act a certain way. It does take practice, but I think it’s a game worth trying.

P.S. The sweet dog in the photo is not the culprit who ate the carrot cake off the counter. The next time I will choose to put it in the fridge and not assume the last person to have a piece did it.

 

Why Getting Quiet Matters For Our Happiness

I think a lot of us identify so much with the thoughts in our minds, that we think we ARE those thoughts. The constant chatter filled with regrets from the past (leading to depression) and fear of the future (leading to stress and anxiety) keeps us from living in the joy of moment and believe me – it is there for all of us.
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Although the numbers I’ve read varies between 60 and 90 thousand, we have an incredible amount of thoughts every day. Most days it is the same thoughts repeated over and over, day in and day out. And researchers say 80{6d4aff0a40d9ce9f29c72141583e1f493a9852f12b112e946c808ec1e4b97ab4} of those are negative. Yikes!! It’s so easy to think the same thing automatically. Changing our thoughts and having original thoughts does take some effort or at least means we need to pay attention.
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Practices like yoga and meditation and focused breathing and vocal toning can help us to detach from those repeated thoughts any time we want so we can move away from the sadness and stress and move towards the happiness and peace that we crave. It is right here, right now, when we make room for it.
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The good news is that by beginning to incorporate any of these practices into our daily lives, we can see these are easy things to learn and great habits to begin. Because once we do, we will find that the quiet and the happiness is inside of us all day and every day and is worth getting quiet enough to feel and hear over the roar of the negatives.
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If you’d like some help starting to find this happiness and peace, set up a free appointment with me and we can either talk on the phone or by email confidentially and I’ll give you some tips to get you started today.
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Businessman taking time to meditate
Taking time to quiet your thoughts can be done anywhere and anytime.

4 QUICK Ways To Shift Your Negative Mood

1. Be Grateful.

Yes you probably hear this one a lot. That’s because it works. I have a cool twist on it for you. When you are feeling so down that it’s a struggle to find something to be grateful about, think about someone else who would be grateful to have your problem.

Here’s a personal example. My new laptop has been driving me crazy as some of the keys only work someimes. SEE?? The store was quite inflexible in their 14 day return policy on my 17 day old laptop even though I called them on the 13th day to ask what to do.  I was upset and almost in tears when their best solution was to ship it away for 3 weeks. But I took a few deep breaths and thought “Who would be grateful to have this problem?”

Answers came flooding in! People who don’t have laptops at all. People who weren’t lucky enough to get a new laptop for Christmas. People who don’t have the flexibility in the first place to work on the go. When you can be grateful for your problems, it becomes much easier to be grateful for the awesome things in your life. Even little things. I am grateful that Tim Horton’s has coffee cups the size of my head so I get a big jolt o’ java when I really need it!!  Try it next time and let me know how it works for you.

2. Be Aware

Some people refer this to Being In The Present Moment. I think you will like this twist on it, because really WHAT does that mean? Use all of your senses to experience the miracle of this moment. Pick something you like with all of your senses right now. Being aware of everything so completely is bound to get your focus off of the things you don’t like if you let it.

Sight – I have this great stained glass light with a clear bezel dragonfly that shoots out beams of light in every direction – how cool!

Hearing – It’s a little chilly so I have a portable heater at my feet. Really hearing the sound helps me to feel that cozy warmth.

Taste – I let that coffee last for a long time so I can still taste it mmmmm.

Smell – This afternoon I put on some Sweet Orange essential oil blend. It’s subtle but smells yummy.

Touch – I’m hanging out on the couch with my dog right beside me. His little ears are so soft!

3. Laugh

Even if you don’t think there’s anything laugh-worthy at the moment, try some fake laughter (umm maybe you should be alone for that!) or watch a video with people laughing. It works to lift your mood. If you can’t find anything funny in the moment, keep a memory in your ‘back pocket’ for when you need it. Smiling and laughing will boost your mood and detach you from a negative situation.

I like to think about some scenes from The Hangover movie but that might just be because of Bradley Cooper. That’s a whole different kind of distraction. 😉

Ocean view
Ocean view

4. Think about a place that brings you joy.

I love doing this!! But don’t just think about it, really feel it. Feel the joy that you felt about a place or experience you’ve had and allow it to fill your mind and body. REALLY focus on it and make the memory as real as you can. Try a few different things, play and have fun with it and see what works best for you to shift your mood.

I love remembering sitting on the beach in Punta Cana, DR with a cool shipwreck in the distance and the warmth of the sun, the refreshing breeze, the sound of the ocean, and feeling the sand in my hands and on my feet with food and drink and music and fun all nearby.

 

I acknowledge that it can be hard to remember these things when you’re not feeling great or you are under a lot of stress. So write them down or save a video on your smartphone when you aren’t in the middle of something icky, so you have something to refer to when you need it.

Sometimes talking to someone who will listen without judgement helps too. If you’d like to talk, make an appointment with me and let’s see what else we can come up with to change your mood quickly.  🙂

 

Where Did THAT Box Come From?

Freedom Illustration

I don’t think I ever question why a blog post was written when I read it.  I guess you probably don’t either.  But I’d like to share why I am posting this tonight.

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On December 6, 2012 a friend of mine asked for some help because  he wasn’t happy and he felt trapped in both a job and relationship that were not satisfying him. He lived his life with “can’t” and “should” and “try” and without passion or smiles.  He had given up and had chosen to live in a restrictive little box with no way out.  It wasn’t a fun place to be but he couldn’t imagine living outside of it.

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He asked me to send him daily inspirational messages that he could read. He wasn’t ready to take any action but he thought he could read something every day.  Every day for 114 days  I sent him a message.  Most had cute pictures or song lyrics attached.  At some point about 80 days in, his box closed so tightly that he wouldn’t even allow hope or inspiration or faith in anymore. I kept writing and hoping he would read them and see some light coming from outside the box he was trapped inside of.  He didn’t.

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A lot of time and energy and love went into sending those emails. I couldn’t delete them. So I have been slowly turning them into blog posts that I hope will help others trapped in boxes. We all hold the key to getting out. It is in our grasp. We just need to turn the key and be willing to step out of the box we have created.

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What is your box made of?  Excuses?  Old memories of a happier time?  Fear?  Guilt? A feeling of not being good enough or deserving? The thought that it is too late or too much effort to change things?

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For now, just have a little peek  and imagine the world of possibilities outside your tiny box. I hope some day soon you can take that first step out of the box. There is a whole world of fulfillment and adventure out there to explore!

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If you would like help figuring out what your box is made of and how to step outside of it, use the contact form  to set up a time for a free chat with me without judgement.

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With Gratitude

Faith

 

How To Shift From What If Into Action

That “What if…..?”

“What if…” is the single most stimulating and frightening phrase in human communication.  Many of us have grand plans and dreams, but very seldom follow through with them.

Why?

Because we are afraid.  The haunting  “What If…” hounds our steps everywhere.  How do we let go of that constant replaying of “What If?”

Let’s break it down to one step at a time.

blog post what if

  1. Start small. It can be hard to silence twenty years or more of discouragement all at once.  Choose one area of your life to start with.  That could be healthy living, procrastination, or finally taking that leap into the unknown.  Make an agreement with yourself, like “I will not smoke that cigarette this morning like usual. I will chew sugarless gum instead.” Slowly one cigarette turns into two, then three, and etc. When you fall off the bandwagon, just pick up where you left off; everyone wavers.  Forgive yourself and move on with the day.

  1. One thing at a time.  Don’t take on the whole world.  If keeping a clean home is a struggle for you, do one thing a day. For example: Mondays clean the bathroom, Tuesdays vacuum the carpets, Wednesdays dust the furniture, Thursdays organize the kitchen, and Fridays wash laundry. Or skip Wednesdays – dusting? What is dusting??? 😀

  1. Enjoy your work.  When you have work to do, just do it.  Don’t worry about how long it will take or if anything gets accomplished.  Make a small goal and chip away at the bigger picture.

  1. Acknowledge progress.  When you reach a small goal, celebrate it.  Watch a movie you enjoy, get a pizza, go dancing, or whatever you enjoy.  Those small goals will add up over time and you enjoy your life as you make positive changes.

But what about that anxiety that settles into the pit of your stomach when you think of a “what if?” Well there are some tips for that too.

  1. Just do it.  Really, just do it! You are a success for starting.  Worse case scenario it falls flat and you have to start over. At least you’ll have a better idea of how to go about it.

  1. Tell it to your journal.  If you don’t have a journal, then start one.  Writing down what holds you back puts it into perspective.  Talk yourself through it, and you may find that fear is baseless or even silly.

  1. Remember trial and error.  When you fail, there is a lesson.  Sometimes this lesson is more valuable than the objective.  It’s okay to fail, just don’t let failure stop you.

  1. Don’t slow down to get scared.  If you give yourself time to think about it, you might talk yourself out of it. This doesn’t mean ignoring common sense or instincts.  Just remember you’ll never know until you try.  Use the energy that comes from new ideas to act immediately and break through the fear.

 

After all…What If your success is on the other side of the fear?